Mom - Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

I love my Mom. She is awesome. I am so grateful for all that she did and continues to do for me. Mom’s have the most important, most noble, and most difficult job in the world. There is no comparison. One of my favorite TV shows is “Dirty Jobs” on the Discovery Channel. The host is a funny dude named Mike Rowe. Basically Mike travels around and participates in what people think are the toughest, dirtiest jobs in the world. None of those jobs even compare to being a stay-at-home mom. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. My wife is a stay-at-home mom.

Here is a great qoute that I agree with on the importance of a mom.

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” -Theodore Hesburgh

I spoke at a breakfast last Friday at the NHSCA National Tournament in Virginia Beach. Neil Duncan from Asics introduced me to speak. As part of the introduction, Neil mentioned my mom and something cool she once said. So when I got up to speak I ended up talking about my mom.

When I think about my mom I think of service. She has dedicated her life to me and my brothers. She would do anything for us. We never questioned whether we were loved. Often it was a tough love, and I am grateful for that.

My mom is a hard, hard worker. She might be the hardest working person I know. She doesn’t sit still from the moment she wakes up at 5a to the moment she falls asleep. To give an example, one vivid memory of mine is my mom vacuuming my room around my bed at 530a as I tried to sleep. It seems like that was a weekly occurrence. My mom was on a mission. She didn’t vacuum around my bed while I was trying sleep to punish me. She was simply getting ahead and cleaning the house- just working hard.

Not only is my mom a hard worker but she is competitive. She wouldn’t admit that, but she is.

She expected the best out of us. She didn’t put pressure on us to win but she did expect us to give our best, and sometimes more than our best-haha.

Mom didn’t hesitate to tell me when she didn’t think I gave 100%. I didn’t always agree with her that I didn’t give 100% but the important thing was the accountability that she taught. We didn’t run to mom after things didn’t work out for a shoulder to cry on. Like most families we complained about the ref and little things like that, but we took responsibility and accountability for ourselves.

I took the value of accountability for granted until I got into coaching. I just assumed that everyone hates to lose enough that they will learn from their mistakes. I assumed everyone hates to lose enough that they will constantly look honestly at themselves and figure out what they can do to never lose again. That’s what my parents taught me and I am very lucky for that.

It’s tough to help people if they aren’t willing to take responsibility for themselves. I’ve had kids that worked hard, were talented and even competed fairly hard but they didn’t make much progress. I couldn’t figure out what was missing until I had an in-depth conversation with the parents. After listening to them blame me, our staff, the weather and everything else but their kid, it was clear.

You can’t make progress without accepting responsibility. Progress and accountability are like peanuts and peanut butter. Without the peanuts (accountability) there can be no peanut butter (progress.)

Parents teach that. I was lucky that both of my parents taught that.

Just because you don’t think your coach is perfect, are you going to let that affect your performance? Just because your coach doesn’t say the right thing before you compete, are you going to let that keep you from your goal? I wouldn’t. Take the good that people offer and leave the rest.

Ultimately YOU are the answer. People can lead and guide you but YOU are the answer. Look for help and learn from other’s experiences. I think people spend so much time looking for the answer, just be the answer.

You know what they say “a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a really smart person learns from other people’s mistakes!”

The tricky part about this is that parents are not perfect. Just because a parent doesn’t do everything perfect, (none will,) that doesn’t mean you can’t rise above and overcome. Like I said, YOU are the answer. Parents will make mistakes.

God commands us “to honor our father and mother.” God doesn’t suggest it, it is a commandment. It’s not one of the ten suggestions.

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Ex. 20:12.)

The point that I want to share here is one that I heard given in a speech by Jon Bytheway.

Bytheway teaches that the commandment doesn’t say, Honor thy father and mother only if they are perfect, or only if they meet every single one of your expectations or wants. It says honor your father and mother, period. So love and honor your parents but don’t expect them to be perfect. Just because they make a mistake it doesn’t mean we are bound to that mistake. Life is about making progress, but most importantly it’s about forgiving and overcoming. That principle applies to our parents as well.

Just because your coach, teacher, or parent isn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean you can’t reach your potential. That is not an excuse. It might make life a bit more challenging but hey that’s what it’s all about. Taking your circumstances and doing the absolute most you can. You are not limited by your circumstances.

YOU are the answer. YOU are the solution. Be it.

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