Ask Cael: im a junior starter for 3 years now im tryin to make changes to get on track i pray everyday and i have a firm belief with god anything is possible but sometimes it seems as if i am not winning the matches i should i was good in junior high but i lost my touch and got dissapointed my freshmen year and have never got back on track pleaase answer back cael.

Story Published Thursday, February 4th, 2010

name: Hayden From small town holly,co

question: Hey Cael i am a long time fan and its amazing you did what u did i wish i could meet u someday. i hope this is really you and not one of those stupid things where someone answer your mail. but ok srry im takin your time its just im a junior starter for 3 years now im tryin to make changes to get on track i pray everyday and i have a firm belief with god anything is possible but sometimes it seems as if i am not winning the matches i should i was good in junior high but i lost my touch and got dissapointed my freshmen year and have never got back on track pleaase answer back cael.

Hi Hayden,

Yes this is me and you can probably tell by how infrequent responses and blogs are.

If you pray for guidance i know you will get it, so you are doing the most important thing in having faith in God. the second thing is to go to work. Keep working and work hard. Hard work will solve most problems.

Another thought that came to my mind when I read your question is a quote from Bonnie Epstein.

“Don’t Should on Yourself.” Bonnie Epstein

That means, don’t focus or worry about what you “should” have done. “Should” is a negative perspective and usually just serves as an opportunity for you to beat yourself up over something that happened in the past. That doesn’t help. It is important to recognize mistakes but don’t dwell on them. Recognize what they are and go to work to correct them.

Also I don’t like the perspective when looking to the future when people think or say, “I should beat this guy” or I “should” do this or “should” do that. “Should” is a negative view that creates expectations for you. It is a “counting the chicken before they are hatched” perspective in my opinion. It changes an opportunity into a pressure filled “don’t lose situation.”

As an athlete and now as a coach I am careful not to use the “should” word.

Focus on what you are doing well. Focus on what you can do, not what you “should” do.

It is amazing how changing or eliminating a word or two in our thinking process completely changes our attitude.

Have fun, compete hard and see what you can do!

“Everyone can be discontented if he ignores his blessings and looks only at his burdens.” Thomas S. Monson

Count your blessings if you ever need a boost.

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