Ask Cael: April 12th, 2005

Story Published Monday, September 15th, 2008

Jake(Orange, CA): What inspired you throughout your wrestling career? Did you ever just want to quit but your parents wouldn’t let you? Or was it the success of your brothers?

Cael: “My family has always inspired me throughout my wrestling career. I’ve always looked up to my parents and brothers. My wife Kelly really inspired me and helped me win the gold medal in the darkest year of my life. She gave me support when I needed it and she told me to “suck it up and get tough” when I needed it. My family has been everything to me. I followed my brothers around from a very early age all the way through college. I learned how to work hard from them. They literally were the first ones to practice and last ones to leave everyday. We shared a car so my ride wasn’t leaving until the last brother- so I was also putting all of the extra time in. Surround yourself with people that have similar high goals as yourself, that will inspire you and push you to be your best. There are times for playing and times for working.

My father was my wrestling coach growing up and through high school. I never even thought about quitting wrestling. My father’s approach with us was very successful. He never put pressure on us to win. He only expected us to do our very best- both in school, training, and competition. Now that I am trying to be a coach, I am really seeing how incredibly valuable my father’s approach with us was. If you are a parent or coach I would highly advise to take this approach. Only put pressure on your athletes/ kids to do their very best, and be proud and positive with them if they do, regardless of the outcome. Kids will put plenty of pressure on themselves to win. I know from my personal viewpoint as an athlete, it kills me to think that my family, wife, and coaches would be or are disappointed in me if I lose. Wrestlers whose parents put a lot of pressure on them to win, instead of doing their best, don’t last very long in a tough sport like wrestling. If they do last, their chances of reaching their full potential are slim. Parents- you should want your kids to be successful for them. If you want your kids to be successful for you then there is a problem. Thank you dad!

What a frightening thought- to have the people you love the most- be disappointed in you. However, my dad wasn’t afraid to tell us that we weren’t working hard enough. Come to think of it- neither was my mother. I vividly remember a few times my mom didn’t think I did my best or she thought I was afraid of someone. I’ll just say that she didn’t think this was acceptable. If our grades weren’t excellent- there were no extra-curricular activities. If my father didn’t feel that we were training hard enough- he wasn’t going to take us around the country to tournaments that we weren’t prepared for. Then once we got to the tournament- it was always “we didn’t come here to win- we came here to fight!” Focus only on your best effort in training and competition and you will get your best result. Nothing changes from the first match of the season to the last. You putting forth your best effort. Easier said than done, but if you do this – you will maximize your success.”

Latest Questions in the Ask Cael Archive

- question: Do you think starting wrestling at a young age is helpful/important?
- I have been a head coach for only 2 years, so I cannot expect overnight success but This school has so much potential. Please help me with pointers on this problem.
- A kid that I wrestle in practice won’t let me tie up with him. I beat him but how do i get a hold on him when he always circles out when I try to tie up with him.
- Everyone around here almost automatically defers when they win the choice to start the second period. I believe that is counter-productive and want my boys to take bottom every time.
- I have two boys who love to wrestle, what do you think is the best way to bring them up the ranks, without “burning them out?” And what would be some good motivational ideas?
- I have watched videos of you in college where you put your head to the mat. Are you gaining an advantage by using your head on the mat?
- Can you explain why college wrestlers defense is so different?
- What is your philosophy regarding Team v. Individual in the sport of wrestling and how do you communicate this philosophy?
- What causes passivity? How can we overcome it?
- I graduated 2 years ago and recently got a coaching job coaching my old middle school team. What is some advice you could give me to help me get moves across to my team without skipping important details?

View Complete Ask Cael Archive by Date